Recently, I’ve been thinking a lot about religion. Perhaps my current mind state can be attributed to the overabundance of bible quotes posted on Facebook or Florida Evans’ continual reverence to the Lord when addressing her family’s financial woes (yes, I am a die-hard Good Times fan). Whatever the reason, religion has been very heavy on my mind lately.
In my lifetime I have been asked about my personal relationship with god and/or my local church more times than I care to remember. It is usually assumed that a person, particularly a black person who was raised in the, ‘hood’, is a Christian. At the point in which said person declares, ‘no, I am not Christian’, the next assumption arises; ‘oh, so you a Muslim?’
As a person who falls in the category of ‘neither Christian nor Muslim’, you can just about imagine society’s uncomfortable relationship with me (read: I must be a weirdo).
How can a person not be a Christian or a Muslim?!?!?! This can’t be!
Wait, they must be Jewish…
No.
Buddhist?
Nope.
A Scientologist?
No.
Well then what are you?!
Hello, I am non-religious, nice to meet you.
Such has been my life. Now, for all of you who love the Lord and find that church is just about the only place to worship him, you may not want to read any further…unless you have an open mind and a sense of humor.
On to my top 10…
Reason #10:
Church is not interesting to me. Actually, it is quite (dare I say) boring….
Reason #9:
I’m broke and church is not free. I cannot afford to put money in any of the brass/wicker/plastic bowls, which are usually circulated at least 3 times around the church in a matter of 1 hour. I can’t do it, I’m hungry and my gas tank is on ‘E’...
Reason #8:
I am cool with me. Also, I am cool with my family. There are enough of us and our craziness therefore I DO NOT NEED an extended church family to irk me and be all up in my business, in the name of the lord. No thank you…
Reason #7
I like to chill on Sundays and churches are not exactly what I would like to call ‘chill spots’…
Reason #6
I ask too many questions and, if I am not mistaken, the #1 unwritten church rule is: do not EVER ask questions in church before, during, or after Pastor’s sermon unless;
a) you are asking about the health of somebody’s momma,
b) you are asking an excessively hyper child if he/she would like to get slapped into next week (in the name of Jesus), or
c) you are asking the usher for a pen so that you can sign your offering check…
Reason #5
I can’t sit still for more than 20 minutes…
Reason #4:
A church is merely a building; a building that does not take precedence over my bed on a Sunday morning…
Reason # 3:
Very large crucifixes scare me (small ones are quite bizarre as well)...
Reason #2:
I do not know church protocol. I don’t know when to sing, when to clap, when to pray, when to stand, when to sit, or what to say while the preacher is taking a breath between words. Is there some kind of church etiquette book that I should be aware of?
AND FOR THE #1 REASON THAT I DO NOT GO TO CHURCH….
IT IS TOO LOUD!!! Churches are full of people who cannot sing but who sing anyway. Why would I want to voluntarily sit in a building and listen to people who cannot sing? Furthermore, church sound systems are terrible. Just terrible. And to make up for the terrible-ness of their sound systems, they put them on full blast as if that is going to make them sound any better. No, that just gives me a headache and makes my eyes twitch.
7 comments
Lol you are brave, Mz. Jonesy cuz you know everybody is going to get on here and try to convert you. I like your honesty!!! I agree with a lot of your points actually even though I label myself a Christian. I don't like the rigidness of religion because I believe as long as you a have a personal relationship with God, you're cool. Even if you don't, hey, He gave us free will. :-)
Good points!! The question remains, were our ancestors Christian/Muslim/Jewish? Or were these 3 monotheistic beleifs forced upon us through invasions? Was the concept of a messiah an original concept, or did the concept predate christianity by thousands of years? Dont get me started.
all places have a culture. You sit at a desk for probably more than 20 minutes a pop unless you management now. And why not the top reasons for not goin on gov printz to worship wit muslims or kingdom hall on faulk or jewish around th corner from my house?sheenanymous
3EVE-- Lol, yes, I can say that I am quite brave, :) Lol, but really, church is just a really weird place for me (as evident by the aforementioned top 10 :). For others, it's not so weird, and that cool. But not going to church, has nothing to do with being or not being spiritual...as you said, as long as you have a personal relationship with a higher power or your ancestors, or whatever/whomever, thats all that matters.
Hahaha, I am sure somebody will come on here with electronic holy water to anoint me...lol, but I'm still not going to church
Ramose-- O, no, if we get you started you may never stop! lol. Teach brotha, TEACH! (shouting down the aisles)
Sheenanonymous-- I guess I could sit at a desk for 'more than 20 minutes a pop' but I usually don't. Perhaps #5 should read "I have a hard time sitting still for more than 20 minutes..." or maybe it should stay just the way I originally wrote it...
Yup, diverse cultures is a part of the american way...and there are some places whose culture I do not like...and church culture is shoved down our throats with no consideration for other CULTURES (turn on your TV on any given sunday)...hence the need for my top 10... (not saying going to church is bad, its just not my thing)
And I can't have a Top 10 for places I have never been...and since I have never been to the Masjiid on Gov Printz I will not comment on what they do in the confines of that building nor will I comment on any Jewish temple around the corner from your house or Kingdom Hall on Faulk.
'so be it' a.k.a 'amen'
By the way you say amen or hallelujah in between the pastor's breaths between word-- its the equivalent of giving a head nod during a conversation. There is a book on the etiquette of church and it is called a bible. . . I digress.
The number one reason for avoiding religion and the service that supports it should be RELIGION BREEDS IGNORANCE. For instance Lucifer's Own did you know that the word church in the bible is a substitute for the word congregation. Also the word amen is a substitute for the word amon. And I challenge you to show me were in the bible it gives the guidelines for the service in the Roman Catholic Church and therefore the services that spawned from there to become the basic Christian Worship Service.
I saw this news report about this guy, who is an Atheist, and who has started an Atheist congregation. Like church, but they gather and don't believe in god together. I mean really? Isn't that the point of being an atheist? Besides of course being a logical thinker and not being afraid to let yourself be your own god.
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