To be or not to be...CULTURAL (Random post)

 

No, this isn't me...but this picture explains the feeling of this post....

 

For some reason, people with locs (dreadlocks to the uninformed) are perceived to be, um….. cultural. If you have locs, or any natural hairstyle for that matter, people look at you differently. They expect you to be a certain way, know certain things, and even eat certain foods. Compounding the loc phenomenon, if you just so happen to actually know some stuff, be a vegetarian, have an affinity for African culture and read books, well you are just about screwed.

If you catch me standing on a street corner cursing someone out like a mad ghetto black woman, you would probably do a double take. Why? Well, probably because my natural hair, ethnic persona, community associations and black power teeshirt says that I shouldn't be standing on a street corner cursing at people. A person like me, flipping out, flipping someone the finger or just going flipping crazy defies the stereotype that you perceive me to be.

Here's the thing though—I think people are a bit confused about the dynamics of a cultural person. The complexities of being black in general are deeper than deep and the complexities of being a 'cultural' black person are even deeper.  Recently I realized that I've been battling something that I never knew and would have never guessed existed—the warring identities of a cultural Black American.

I think the issue here falls somewhere between the sociopathic superstar basketball player who says "I'm not a role model"(when by default he really is) and the human need to label people and things in order to understand them.

It is understandable for people to expect others to act appropriately in public social settings. It is not acceptable to spew curse words in an otherwise calm and peaceful setting. There are ways of being 'normal' in this social order, and we as humans are expected to follow suit.  Although social order is the order by which we live, the underlying issue here is less of a social order issue and more of an individual standard issue.

When you look at someone, you can determine what type of person they are. We can often decipher the 'all about business' woman from the 'club-hopping hoochie'. We can pick the business professional man out from the 'I play Playstation all day' man. Once we determine who a person is, whether by physical appearance, conversation or knowledge of their past life, we label them and expect certain things from them. That is a problem.

For the cultural Black American, we are automatically thought of as intellectual, 100% natural, respectful of our heritage and always down for the struggle when in fact, all of that may not be true. For example, it is quite possible for me (or any other 'cultural' woman) to enjoy plays, African dance, reading books and poetry, while also enjoying a delightfully nasty argument with another female because she looked at me the wrong way or tried to make a move on my man. I can wear the best African clothing covering my body from head to toe while lavishing in the excitement of buying the tightest shortest dress I can find for tonight's rendezvous at the club. I might rock my real hair, never processed and healthy, with limited makeup while sitting in a nail salon getting my acrylic fill and waiting for my turn in the eyelash extension corner. It's all pretty contradictory but its life, and it's real.

The sad thing is that people judge you, not only on what they perceive you to be but what you do when you step outside of the box they built for you. A little while ago, I had a conversation with someone who thought it was cool that I was a vegetarian for most of my life, never had a relaxer, knew quite a bit about Islamic culture and graduated from college with a degree in Black American Studies. I started to feel trapped and I could see the box they were building around me based on the person they determined me to be. So, I looked at that the person and said "Yeah, well, I be all that and everything but I don't f*c*ing play so don't f*c* with me. I will kick your muthaf*c*ing ass if you take me there." They looked at me like I was crazy. The box they were building tumbled to the ground. I felt free again.

See, nobody is one way all of the time and it's not fair treat people as if they are. Don't think you know someone and then, when they show another side of themselves, turn your nose up and decide that they are less than what you thought they once were. That's not cool. Humans are funny beings who are multidimensional and confusing. That's just how we are. So when you catch me (or any other person you placed in the "cultural" box) on a bad day and I curse you out like I'm Keylolo from the block, don't judge me, ok?

Ok.