Was it worth it and would I do it again? Let’s see…

It was summer of 2004. I moved away from home to Baltimore, MD to attend Morgan State University. After signing 'mysterious papers' that would ensure that my freshman year of college would be paid in full, I loaded my dorm with all the purple goodies I could find (purple sheets, purple bean bag, purple fur rug, purple beads, etc., etc.) and began my life as a college freshman. Life was great; I met great people and learned great things. I partied hard and studied harder. I had dreams of becoming a business owner and MSU was the beginning of making my dreams come true.

Then spring 2005 rolled around and I was still flying high and enjoying life. Grades were good, times were fun. I was a fly lil' thing, went to the club every chance I could and made sure that my grades never dropped below a B. Everything was perfect until…

I realized that I could not afford to pay for sophomore year tuition, room, and board. I frantically thought and thought and realized that I needed to find more of those 'mysterious papers' to sign so that all would be well again. I went online to review my options when I realized, at that point, as a freshman in college, I was more than $15,000 in debt. I was 19, had not even completed my freshman year and I was in debt. Big time debt. I quickly calculated what signing 'mysterious papers' for the next 3 years would cost me and I couldn't do it. I couldn't sign those papers. I began to weigh my options and realized that I had no options to weigh. The only person who helped me financially while in school was my mother and I knew that she could not afford to pay for the rest of my college education by herself. My only options were to either sign more 'mysterious papers' or transfer to a less expensive college in my home state of Delaware. Hence, I ended up at University of Delaware (L Sad face here. I loved MSU and did not want to leave).

After 4 years at UD (and some e-signing of further mysterious documentation), I graduated with two Bachelor of Arts Degrees (English/Ethnic & Cultural Studies and Black American Studies). It was 2009, I was 23 years old and I was ready to live the adult life. About a month after graduation, I began reviewing those 'mysterious papers' that I signed while at MSU and those that I signed while at UD. Panic quickly set in – I was nearly $40,000 in debt. In approximately 5 months after that moment, I would be obligated to pay about $300/per month to random companies to whom I signed away the next 10-15 years of my life. What the….

So, as I now think about the debt that I am in, the money that I do not have because Sallie Mae, Direct Loans, and AES is taking it from me, I wonder—if I had the chance, would I do it again?

As of this moment, my honest answer to that question is "No, I would not do it again."

College was great and I value my education. The people I met, the experiences I had and the knowledge I gained is almost second to none. In actuality, college taught me more than I could have ever expected. Yet, as I sit here typing my heart away, I feel like the lack of financial stability that I have as a result of my college education is not worth the education that I received. Truth be told, all the books that I read while in college (in one 3 month semester I actuality read about 15 novels, no joke. If I'm lyin', I'm flyin') could have been read for just the cost of the book and the gas it took to make it to the bookstore. Don't get me wrong, I'm not unappreciative of my education, I'm just sayin'…

Either way, education or no education, I can't take back what I've been through or the debt that I'm in. And if given the opportunity, I wouldn't take any of it back. I mean, I wouldn't do it again but at the same time, I would never take any of it back. Hey, I went through it and made it out broke but not broken so I guess I have at least a little to be grateful for, huh?*

*I may hate the debt that I'm in but I am truly grateful for the opportunity to attend and graduate from college. Many people never get the opportunity to do what I've done and I will always be grateful. And I will always send many thanks to my mother who fed me and clothed me and did everything else for me while I was in school. It's hard being a single parent, especially with a college student to care for. My mother was great…without her I would have never made it through.